Me, music and movies :)

Like every kid I dreamt of what I wanted to be when I grow up - doctor, police inspector, air hostess, etc. And somehow and I don't even remember how or when, they just left my mind, very naturally. And I was left with a desire to do two things in life - music and movies. Again, very naturally, like it was meant to be. 

My dad's a music composer and my grandfather a musician. And so, me turning out to be a singer(I prefer saying someone who loves singing) didn't come as a big surprise to everyone. So somehow my undying, crazy, passionate love for music was lost in all the limelight that my "musical genes" got. "Of course you love music! You're a singer!" was the reaction I got. And I went with it. We usually tend to like the things we can do, more.  We find comfort in them and may be even take them for granted. Or get over-confident, thinking we can do them anytime. Now, coming to acting. Nope, mom's not an actress and if anything my family despises the profession. I hardly ever tried it. One play, but I'd surely not put that up in my list of achievements. I always wondered what made me love acting so much and I came up with a few reasons - I have a pretty face, I can emote at the rate of thousand expressions per minute, I want to be in the creative field, no 9 to 5 jobs for me, etc. But I also knew none of these reasons were actually it. 

And then, today happened. A movie full of life with beautiful music happened. I'm not mentioning which movie this is because this isn't meant to be a movie review. Besides, it's not about this movie, it's about what a movie did for me. To each his own. Anyway, before I entered the theater today, I was angry with life, annoyed with people and was feeling all the colorful neighborly feelings. Just one of those days I thought like we do most times. And then the music played. And I saw these people, on the screen, laugh. Really laugh! I've always loved real laughter in movies. It makes you laugh too. Even if nothing's funny, you just laugh shaking your head thinking "Why's he laughing so much!". Everyone around me was laughing. And then came the sadness with the damn music. Their sadness reached out to me, brought tears in my eyes and made me want to go hug them and tell them it was going to be ok. I looked around and saw everyone fall quiet. And then, the girl on screen kissed the guy and everyone was happy again. So was I. At every point of the movie, I felt what these people felt, these actors who simply enacted all these feelings, some day, some where. I liked them, hated them, cheered them on, laughed with them, fell in love with them. Every time I identified with a character, I smiled to myself and dreamt I was there, in that character's shoes doing what she was doing. I felt the music surround me and form a memory in my head. A memory for me to hold on to and replay in my head whenever I relive that scene, in my own way. 

Everyone who walked into the theater today probably had their own set of problems and happy things. But every time they laughed or cried, they became the people they were watching. They connected. And so I realized. A very simple and clear realization. I never wanted to be a police inspector. I wanted to be the one who makes someone feel they want to be one. To feel that want. It was never my innate singing talent that naturally made me love music. It always was the desire to be a part of the music that plays in your head when you're having the moment of your life. I don't believe inspiration works the way it's portrayed to. I don't think I'm here to inspire anyone, plainly because only you can inspire yourself. I walked out of the theater today wanting to do so many things, be so many different people. And that's what I'm here to do for someone, anyone. Create that one moment to feel the want. With beautiful music in the background, of course.